Here’s a scene that plays out in a lot of Irish homes. A man is scrolling on his phone late at night, the telly still muttering away in the background, and he lands on the words “prostate massager”. He reads the first paragraph. He glances at the door. He closes the tab faster than a pint disappears on a stag in Temple Bar.
Two days later, he’s back. Curious. Slightly nervous. Googling “how to use a prostate massager” in an incognito window, in case his phone is judging him.
If that’s you (or your partner), you’re in very good company. Here’s the thing: the prostate is one of the best kept secrets of the male body, and plenty of men who try a prostate massager wonder why nobody told them sooner. So pop the kettle on, grab a Barry’s, and let Amelia walk you through your first time. Calm, friendly, and completely blush-free.
What Is a Prostate Massager (and Why Is Everyone Whispering About It)?
A tiny bit of biology first. No exam at the end, I promise.
The prostate is a small gland, roughly the size and shape of a walnut, sitting just below the bladder and in front of the rectum (Harvard Health has a lovely plain-English explainer on what the prostate does). It’s packed with sensitive nerve endings, which is why some people call it the “P-spot”, the male cousin of the G-spot.
A prostate massager is simply a toy shaped to reach it comfortably: a gentle forward curve, a slim tip, and a flared base or handle so it stays put. Some vibrate. Some come with a remote so your partner can take charge (more on that later).
The feeling is different from anything else: deeper, fuller, more “whole body”. My mate’s cousin described it as “like the first sip of a perfect pint, but everywhere”. Poetry, really.
And yes, this is for everyone with a prostate: straight, gay, bi, single, married, curious or just bored of the same old routine. No labels needed. It’s about pleasure, full stop.
[ + ] Click to Expand: Types of Prostate Massagers Explained
Non-vibrating massagers
Simple, curved shapes that move with your body. Some work hands-free, so your own muscles do the gentle rocking.
Vibrating prostate massagers
The most popular choice for beginners. Soft vibration helps the muscles relax and makes it easier to find what feels good.
Massagers with perineum stimulation
These have an extra arm that rests outside, against the perineum (the smooth bit of skin between the testicles and the anus). You get inside and outside sensation at the same time.
Remote control massagers
Perfect for couples. One of you wears it, the other holds the remote. Communication skills, upgraded.
Motion massagers
Premium models with a moving tip that copies a gentle “come here” finger motion. If you want to treat yourself, this is where the magic happens.
How to Choose Your First Prostate Massager
For a first try, smaller and smoother is your best friend. You want something slim at the tip, gently curved, and made of soft, body-safe silicone. A flared base or a sturdy handle is a must for any toy that goes in the back door, so look for that too.
Vibration is a lovely bonus for beginners. It relaxes everything and takes the pressure off “doing it right”.
Have a browse through our full range of prostate massagers, where you can filter by rechargeable, waterproof and extra quiet. That last filter is a blessing if you live in a Dublin flat where the walls are thinner than a slice of Brennans.
[ + ] Click to Expand: Beginner Prostate Massager Checklist
- Size: slim and short to start. You can always size up later (and many people do).
- Shape: a gentle curve and a rounded tip.
- Material: body-safe silicone is soft, smooth and easy to clean.
- Base: a flared base, a handle or an outer arm so the toy stays put.
- Vibration: optional, but brilliant for relaxing and exploring.
- Waterproof: handy for shower play and easy cleaning.
How to Use a Prostate Massager: Getting Ready
Preparation is half the fun, and it’s the part most first-timers skip. Don’t be that lad.
Pick a time when you’re not in a rush. Not ten minutes before the Luas, not while the housemates are due back from Penneys.
A warm shower beforehand works wonders. Trim your nails too, if you plan on using fingers for a little warm-up. Short, smooth nails are the unsung heroes of the whole experience.
Then gather your kit: the massager, a towel, and a generous bottle of lube. Our anal lubes are made with exactly this kind of comfort in mind, with both water-based and silicone options. If your toy is silicone, a water-based lube is always a safe match.
One more thing. The prostate loves arousal. Spend a good while getting turned on first, whatever that looks like for you. A relaxed, excited body is a much happier body.
[ + ] Click to Expand: Your Pre-Play Checklist
- Charge the toy (or pop in fresh batteries) the day before.
- Wash the toy with warm water and mild soap or a toy cleaner.
- Have a warm shower and go to the loo beforehand.
- Lay a towel on the bed.
- Keep the lube within arm’s reach, cap open.
How to Use a Prostate Massager for the First Time, Step by Step
Right. Here’s the main event, kept friendly and simple.
Lie on your side with your knees pulled up a little towards your chest. This is the comfiest beginner position for most people. Breathe slowly. Seriously, breathing is your secret weapon here.
Warm up with lots of lube and some gentle external touch around the area first. When you feel relaxed, place the tip of the toy at the entrance, curve facing forward (towards your belly button), and let it in slowly. Very slowly. Think of it as reversing a car into a tight spot on Grafton Street: patience, small movements, no sudden manoeuvres.
Once it’s in, stop and let your body settle. Then try tiny movements: a gentle rock, a light press on the handle, or the lowest vibration setting.
No fireworks straight away? Completely normal. For many people, the prostate is a slow burner. It’s less of a light switch and more of a dimmer.
[ + ] Click to Expand: Step-by-Step Guide to Your First Prostate Massage
- Get comfortable. Lie on your side with your knees bent, or on your back with a pillow under your hips.
- Get aroused first. The prostate is more responsive when you’re already turned on.
- Lube generously. Apply plenty to the toy and to your body. Then add a little more.
- Breathe out as you insert. Exhaling helps the muscles relax naturally.
- Go slowly. Let the toy in a little at a time, curve pointing towards your front.
- Pause. Once it’s in place, rest for a minute and let your body settle.
- Explore gently. Small rocking movements, light pressure on the handle, or a low vibration.
- Listen to your body. If anything feels uncomfortable, slow down, add lube or stop and try another day.
- Remove slowly. Take it out as gently as it went in.
- Clean up. Wash the toy straight away and store it somewhere dry and dust-free.
What Does a Prostate Massage Feel Like?
Honest answer? It varies a lot, and that’s part of the adventure.
The first time, many men simply feel a pleasant fullness, a bit like needing to pee (don’t worry, that’s the prostate saying hello, which is why going to the loo beforehand helps). With a bit of practice, that feeling often warms into something deeper and more intense.
There’s no right answer and no finish line. If session one is just “huh, that’s interesting”, you’re doing it right.
[ + ] Click to Expand: Can’t Find the Prostate? Try This
- Check the angle. The prostate sits towards the front of the body, so the curve of the toy should point towards your belly button.
- Don’t go too deep. The prostate is closer than most people think, usually just a few centimetres in.
- Get more aroused. The gland can feel firmer and easier to find when you’re turned on.
- Change position. Lying on your back with your knees up changes the angle completely.
Prostate Massagers for Couples: Hand Over the Remote
Here’s where things get playful. A prostate massager is a brilliant couples’ toy, and the remote control models turn it into a proper game.
One partner wears the toy, the other gets the remote. Dinner at home or a film on the couch suddenly has a bit of extra sparkle. It’s the most fun anyone has ever had with a remote control, and yes, that includes finding the Late Late Show.
For a lovely two-in-one, try a kit that pairs a prostate vibrator with a vibrating ring. If you’re new to rings, our no-panic guide to using a cock ring covers the basics, and you’ll find plenty of options in our cock rings collection.
And if your partner is keen to explore the back door with you, our article on pegging and reversing the roles is a lovely next step for adventurous couples.
Amelia’s Favourites: The Best Prostate Massagers for Beginners
Every one of these is a cracking pick. Choose the one that suits your mood, or start a little collection. One prostate massager is a hobby. Two is a hobby with options. Three? That’s a lifestyle, and I fully support it.
- Climaximum Gratus Beginner Prostate Vibrator: budget-friendly and does the job brilliantly. Compact, soft silicone, 10 vibration levels and IPX7 waterproof. Made for first-timers.
- Rocks-Off Nova Sovereign Prostate and Perineum Massager: a beginner favourite with a flexible silicone shaft, 16 functions and magnetic USB charging. Stimulates inside and outside at once, and works hands-free too.
- Climaximum Entice Kit: Cock Ring and Prostate Vibrator: a beginner couples’ kit with a prostate vibrator and a textured vibrating ring. Use them together or one at a time.
- LELO HUGO 2 Remote Control Prostate Massager: if you want to treat yourself, go premium. Two motors, eight modes and a remote that responds to tilting. A dream for couples.
- LELO LOKI Wave 2 Prostate Massager: the luxury pick, with a finger-like massaging motion, 12 vibration modes, ultra-soft silicone and a waterproof, rechargeable body.
Want more choice? Our full male sex toys range has everything from strokers to rings, and the anal sex toys section is full of plugs and beads that pair beautifully with prostate play.
Amelia’s Golden Rules for Prostate Play
- Lube is not optional. The back door doesn’t make its own, so be generous.
- A flared base, always. Every toy that goes in should have a base, handle or outer arm.
- Slow is sexy. No rushing. Your body will tell you when it’s ready.
- Comfort comes first. Pleasure, yes. Pain, no. If it doesn’t feel good, pause and try again another day.
- Clean before and after. Warm water and mild soap or a toy cleaner. Our guide on how to clean your sex toys covers every material.
One more friendly note. A prostate massager is a pleasure toy, not a medical treatment. If you have any prostate or health concerns, have a chat with your GP. And with Movember around the corner, it’s a grand excuse for the lads to look after themselves in every sense.
[ + ] Click to Expand: How to Clean and Store Your Prostate Massager
After every use
Wash the toy in warm water with a mild, unscented soap or a dedicated toy cleaner. Waterproof toys can go right under the tap; for splash-proof ones, keep water away from the charging port.
Drying
Pat dry with a clean, lint-free towel, or let it air dry fully before putting it away.
Storage
Keep it in its pouch or box, away from dust and direct sunlight. Silicone toys are happiest stored separately from other toys, so they don’t rub against different materials.
Frequently Asked Questions About Prostate Massagers
[ + ] How do you use a prostate massager for the first time?
Get relaxed and aroused first, use plenty of lube, and lie on your side with your knees bent. Insert a small, curved beginner toy slowly, with the curve pointing towards your belly button. Let it rest for a minute, then try gentle rocking or a low vibration setting.
[ + ] Is it safe to use a prostate massager?
For most people, yes, when you use a body-safe toy with a flared base, plenty of lube and a slow, gentle approach. Stop if anything feels painful. If you have any prostate or health conditions, check with your GP first.
[ + ] Which lube is best for a prostate massager?
A thick water-based or anal lube is ideal, especially with silicone toys. Silicone lube lasts longer, but do a small patch test on silicone toys first.
[ + ] How do I know if I’ve found my prostate?
The prostate sits a few centimetres inside, towards the front of the body. When the toy presses on it, many men feel a pleasant fullness or a slight urge to pee. The feeling usually becomes more pleasurable with arousal and practice.
[ + ] What is the best prostate massager for beginners?
A slim, gently curved silicone massager with a flared base and soft vibration is perfect for beginners. The Climaximum Gratus and the Rocks-Off Nova Sovereign are lovely first picks, while the LELO HUGO 2 is a premium choice for couples.
[ + ] Can couples use a prostate massager together?
Absolutely. Remote control prostate massagers let one partner control the speed and patterns while the other enjoys the sensations. Kits that combine a prostate vibrator with a cock ring are another great option for couples.
[ + ] Will my prostate massager order be delivered discreetly?
Yes. Every SEXstore.ie order goes out in a boring brown box with no logo or name on the outside, and your bank statement only says “E-shop”.
Ready for Your First Prostate Massage?
If you take one thing away from today: go slow, use lots of lube, and keep it fun. Your first time is about curiosity, not performance.
Have a look through our prostate massagers and find the one that’s calling your name.
Free shipping on orders over €69, a boring brown box, “E-shop” on your bank statement, 14-day returns and a 1-year warranty on sex toys. Your postman will assume it’s another phone charger. Let him.
