It’s a wet Tuesday night. The heating is on, the Barry’s is brewed, and the two of you are on the couch scrolling through Netflix for the forty-fifth minute without actually picking anything. Then one of you says it, very casually, while staring hard at the telly:
“Should we… maybe… get a toy or something?”
Silence. The kind of silence you could hear a pin drop in. Somebody laughs. Somebody else pretends to check the weather app.
Here’s the thing: that awkward little moment is the hardest part, and you’ve just done it. Picking your first sex toy for couples is honestly easier than picking something to watch. So grab a biscuit, because Amelia is going to walk you both through it: how to bring it up, what to choose first, and how to make your first night together fun rather than fumbly.
Why So Many Irish Couples Are Adding a Toy to the Mix
A few years ago, sex toys were something you hid at the back of the wardrobe behind the Christmas jumpers. These days? Couples are buying them together, comparing notes and swapping recommendations in the group chat (my mate’s cousin in Cork has a whole spreadsheet, which is a bit much, but fair play to her).
And there’s a good reason for it. Research suggests that using toys together can boost pleasure and satisfaction for both partners, and it often gets couples talking more openly about what they like (here’s a good read from Psychology Today if you fancy the science bit).
A toy isn’t a replacement for anyone. Think of it as a new teammate. Your relationship is the squad, the toy is the exciting new signing, and everybody wins.
The best bit? You don’t need to be “adventurous” to start. You just need to be curious.
How to Bring Up Sex Toys With Your Partner (Without Dying of Embarrassment)
Some people fire it out over dinner. Some send a link at 11pm with three nervous emojis. Both work! What matters is the tone: light, curious and zero pressure.
A good rule of thumb: talk about it outside the bedroom first. On a walk, in the car, while you’re both wrestling with the Penneys bags. Somewhere relaxed, where nobody feels put on the spot.
[ + ] Click to Expand: 5 Easy Ways to Suggest a Sex Toy to Your Partner
1. Make it about “us”, not “you”
“I think it could be really fun for us to try something new together” lands much better than anything that sounds like a complaint. You’re inviting them to a party, not handing them a performance review.
2. Browse together
Open the shop on the laptop, pour a glass of wine and scroll side by side. Pointing and giggling is very much allowed. It quickly turns into a game of “would you, wouldn’t you”.
3. Start with something small
A blindfold or a massage oil feels a lot less intimidating than a box with a motor in it. Small steps build big confidence.
4. Use humour
Laughing about it takes the pressure right off. If the first conversation ends with you both in stitches, that’s a win.
5. Let them choose too
Give your partner a vote. When you both pick it, you’re both excited about it, and that excitement is half the magic.
What’s the Best First Sex Toy for Couples?
Right, the fun part. There’s no single “correct” first toy, because every couple is different. Some want buzz, some want a bit of mischief, and some want a slow, candlelit evening. The good news is that there’s something lovely for every mood and every budget.
Here’s a quick cheat sheet:
- Want to feel it together during sex? Go for a wearable couples vibrator.
- Want something easy for him that she’ll love too? Try a vibrating cock ring.
- Love a bit of teasing? A remote control vibrator hands the power to your partner.
- Fancy something a little cheeky? Have a look at our handcuffs and blindfolds.
- Prefer a slow build? Massage oils and candles are pure romance in a bottle.
- Want to laugh your way into it? Pick one of our games for couples.
[ + ] Click to Expand: Couples Sex Toys Explained (Which Type Suits You Two?)
Wearable couples vibrators
These are the stars of the show. A soft, curved silicone toy that sits inside and outside at the same time, so it can stimulate the G-spot and clitoris while still leaving room for your partner. Both of you feel the vibration during sex. Many have a remote, so nobody needs to fiddle with buttons mid-moment.
Vibrating cock rings
A stretchy ring with a little motor attached. He gets a firmer, longer-lasting erection, and the vibrating bit sits right where it can tickle the clitoris. Simple, affordable and a brilliant first step. If you’re new to rings, our no-panic guide to using a cock ring covers everything.
Remote control vibrators
One partner wears it, the other holds the remote. Perfect for foreplay that starts long before the bedroom. Dinner, a walk home, a cheeky night in: the remote holder decides when the fun begins.
Blindfolds and handcuffs
Take away one sense and the others go into overdrive. A soft blindfold or a pair of furry cuffs is the friendliest way into light bondage. We wrote a whole piece on why a simple blindfold can make sex hotter, if you’re curious.
Massage oils and candles
The slow-burn option. Dim the lights, warm the oil and take turns. A massage candle melts into warm, skin-friendly oil, which is a lovely surprise the first time you try it.
Sex games and dice
Scratch cards, dice and challenge games take the “so… what now?” out of the evening. They’re light, playful and great for breaking the ice if you’re both a bit shy.
Amelia’s Favourites: First Sex Toys for Couples at SEXstore.ie
If you want to start small tonight or go all out with something luxurious, these are the ones our couples keep coming back for:
- LELO Tiani 3: the luxury pick. A wearable couples massager with a clever motion-sensing remote, rechargeable and fully waterproof. A proper treat for both of you.
- Romp Join Couples Vibrator: designed to be shared, with lots of vibration settings, USB charging and a waterproof body, so it’s grand in the shower too.
- Rithual Kama Remote Couples Massager: two motors, ten vibration programmes and a remote, so either of you can take charge.
- Fantasy C-Ring Vibrating Super Ring: budget-friendly and does the job brilliantly. A fab little first toy that you’ll both enjoy.
- Secret Play Black Padded Blindfold and Diablo Picante Furry Handcuffs: the cheekiest double act in the shop. Soft, comfy and easy to open.
- Shunga Erotic Massage Oil Irresistible: silky, non-greasy and blended with natural oils. Pure date-night energy.
- Secret Play Scratch & Sex Couple Game: scratch a card each day and see what you’ve “won”. A gorgeous little stocking filler too, with Christmas on the horizon.
Can’t decide? Plenty of couples pick one “buzz” toy and one “mood” item, like a couples vibrator plus a massage oil. One toy is a date. Two is a weekend. Three is a whole new hobby.
Your First Night With a Couples Toy: A Simple Game Plan
The parcel has arrived (in a boring brown box, of course). Now what? Don’t overthink it. The aim of night one is fun and curiosity, not a medal-winning performance.
[ + ] Click to Expand: Step-by-Step Guide to Using Your First Couples Sex Toy
- Charge it first. Nothing kills the mood faster than a toy that dies after two minutes. Pop it on charge the night before.
- Unbox it together. Read the instructions, try the buttons, test the remote. Yes, you’ll giggle. That’s the point.
- Give it a wash. Warm water and a mild soap or toy cleaner before the first use.
- Set the scene. Phones away, a bit of music, the good lamp on instead of the big light.
- Start outside the clothes. Run the vibrator over shoulders, back and thighs first. It’s a gentle warm-up and helps you both get used to the feeling.
- Add lube. A few drops of water-based lube make everything smoother and more comfortable.
- Start on the lowest setting. You can always go up. Going straight to full power is like opening with the Luas at rush hour: a bit much.
- Keep talking. “More?” “Less?” “Ooh, that one.” Little check-ins make a big difference.
- Laugh it off if it’s clumsy. First times rarely go perfectly. That’s what second times are for.
Amelia’s Golden Rules for Couples Toys
Short and sweet, I promise. These little habits keep your toys happy and your nights stress-free.
- Use water-based lube with silicone toys. It’s kind to the material and works with almost everything.
- Clean after every use. Our guide on how to clean your vibrator has all the details.
- Agree on a “pause” word if you’re trying cuffs or blindfolds. Something unmistakable, like “pineapple” or “Ryanair”.
- Store your toys separately in a pouch or drawer, away from dust and other toys.
- Check in afterwards. What did you love? What should you try next time? This chat is often the best bit.
Frequently Asked Questions About Couples Sex Toys
[ + ] What is the best first sex toy for couples?
Something you can both enjoy at the same time with very little fuss. A wearable couples vibrator, a vibrating cock ring or a remote control vibrator are all brilliant first choices. If you’d rather ease in gently, a blindfold or a massage oil is a lovely start.
[ + ] How do I ask my partner to try a sex toy?
Bring it up somewhere relaxed, outside the bedroom, and frame it as something fun for both of you. Browsing a shop together and letting your partner pick is one of the easiest ways to get the conversation going.
[ + ] Will a sex toy replace my partner?
Not at all. Couples toys are designed to be used together. Think of a toy as an extra bit of fun you share, not a substitute for anyone.
[ + ] How does a couples vibrator work?
A wearable couples vibrator is a curved, flexible toy that sits partly inside and partly outside the body. It stimulates the G-spot and clitoris at the same time, leaves room for penetration and lets both partners feel the vibrations during sex. Many come with a remote.
[ + ] What lube should we use with couples toys?
A water-based lube is the safest all-rounder. It works with silicone toys and condoms, and it’s easy to wash off.
[ + ] Are couples sex toys good for same-sex couples?
Absolutely. Vibrators, remote control toys, blindfolds, massage oils and games work brilliantly for every couple. Many wearable vibrators can also be enjoyed during scissoring or simply held between you.
[ + ] How should we clean a couples sex toy?
Wash it with warm water and a mild, unscented soap or a toy cleaner after every use, rinse well and let it air-dry. Check whether your toy is waterproof before rinsing it under the tap.
[ + ] Will the parcel say what’s inside?
Not a chance. Every SEXstore.ie order goes out in a boring brown box with no logo or name on the outside, and your bank statement just says “E-shop”.
Ready to Pick Your First Couples Toy?
The clocks go back at the end of October, which means one extra hour and a lot of long, dark evenings ahead. We can think of worse ways to spend them than under the duvet with a brand new toy and the person you fancy most.
Have a browse of our couples vibrators, pick one together (or a few), and turn that awkward couch moment into the best decision you’ve made all year.
Free shipping on orders over €69, a boring brown box, “E-shop” on your bank statement, 14-day returns and a 1-year warranty on sex toys. The neighbours will never know. Your mammy will never know. Only the two of you will know. 😉
